Nobody's perfect

I'm sick to death of reading about how bad a mother Britney Spears is...there are so many things you could say about her, why do we have to hear about how she almost dropped her child and she got caught driving with her son in her lap...Worse to me is the criticism that she should stay home and tuck her kids into bed and not go out partying. I'm going to say some things here that are probably not going to be very popular, but hey, it's my opinion for what it's worth.

A personal story here...I have three kids who I adore, and I would happily lay my life down for them any day of the week. My oldest, a 15-yr old boy, was born when I was little more than a child myself. When he was two, my mother was helping me move (and for anyone who has kids, you know how hard it is to travel in a car for any length of time with a young child) 12 hours away from my hometown. While we were driving through the mountains, my mother put my son in her lap as she drove, so he could see the view...Ok, that was not such a good idea, and thank god nothing happened to him, but there it is...it happened...once...the difference between me an Britney? There are not cameras following me around and catching my every mistake to make headlines.

My little one (he's 7 seven now, but still Mommy's Little Man) was a few months old when I was sitting in my living room watching TV with him and heard the unmistakable "crash, thud, cry" of his older sister in her bedroom. She was maybe 5, maybe almost 5...and she was playing by herself in her room...I heard her cry and went running up the stairs, Little Man in my arms. Well, I tripped on the way up the stairs and literally dropped my son up the stairs to the landing above. Well, his head hit the wall and my stomach hit the floor...I thought I must be the worst mother on the planet, but at least there were not cameras following me around to let the world know and have the pundits confirm that I was indeed "The Worst Mother on the Planet."

Once, in a fit of impatience and frustration with my oldest (trying to get him to clean his room) (he was 7) I told him I was going to run away from home...well, needless to say (but I'm going to anyway) he broke into tears and begged me not to run away...once again confirming that I was "The Worst Mother on the Planet," but there were not cameras following me around...you get the rest.

Nobody's perfect folks...can we cut her some slack on her parenting...

As for partying...well, I don't know Britney Spears, and I haven't seen nor looked for the pictures of her pantyless on the town...but I have on occassion gone pantyless myself to avoid the ever-unpleasant VPL...visible panty line. I know that women go without panties in this country all over the place...why is this such a big deal...Ok, she shouldn't have had her picture made, but by the same token, those photographers should be ashamed...She said that she hasn't had a chance to go out and party since becoming a mother, and she got a little out of hand. While I'm pretty sure the whole thing was a publicity stunt, it isn't fair of any of us to tell her that she does not have the right to go out sometimes...even if she does have kids. I think one of the primary factors in the salvation of my marriage was weekly dates with my hubby. We go out every Friday night and go dancing...we usually don't get home until midnight or 1am...and I think, no...I whole-heartedly believe that it makes me a better mom.
To say "You should be home tucking your kids into bed instead of out partying on New Year's Eve" is tantamount to saying that a mother shouldn't have a life outside of her kids. The thing is, kids grow up. They move out, start lives and families of their own. Then what? Then how should mom spend her days? Her nights? Her life? Is this when she is entiled to have a life?

I recently saw a commercial for a major Italian restaurant chain that made me think, "I will probably never eat there again." Mom walks into the restaurant, presumable straight from work, and says to the hostess, "I looking for my date. He's very handsome, and his shoes are probably untied." Her date, it turns out, is about 4 or 5 years old and sitting there at table with Dad. At the end the boy says, "I love date night."

I'm sorry folks...that's NOT date night...that's going out to dinner with your family...and while I'm all about sitting down to dinner with the family, I'm not dating my son. The implication to me is plain...Mom is Mom and nothing else...and Mom should be happy with going out on 'date night' to have dinner with her son...going out for Mom consists of doing the same thing she does at home, but at least she doesn't have to cook or clean up after dinner...

Like I said, I love my kids and try to do my best by them, but I'm a person too...I know they need me, but I have needs too...and I don't think the two are mutually exclusive...on the contrary, I believe that taking care of me makes me a better mom, a better wife, and a happier person...

Britney, go out with your friends sometimes...just don't do it to the neglect of your boys...take care of you, but remember that they will see what you do at night when it comes out in the paper and on the internet tomorrow...