I don't know

I haven't felt very motivated to write lately...I'm not really sure why.

Maybe it's that the world seems to be going crazy. Look at the violence that's going on in our schools. Look at the litigation that's going on relating to the violence in our schools. Add to that the lack of simple respect and dignity offered by human beings to fellow human beings. It all just makes me sad...maybe a little angry, but mostly just sad.

A young man walked into his college and killed his classmates...I heard one professor who was killed was even a 9-11 survivor. That sucks.

A cop is missing in S.C. I don't really have any faith that he'll ever be found...at least not alive. He's in his 60's.

An 8-yr-old is facing weapons charges for taking a pocket knife to school. He was suspended by the school for a week, but that's not good enough for many of the parents. They want him expelled...for a pocket knife...an 8-yr-old. It's not that I don't take this seriously, but we used to all take pocket knives everywhere...now the parents are inflamed because the law says a knife with a blade shorter than 3 inches isn't a deadly weapon in it's legal definition. These are the same parents that used to carry their pocket knives everywhere (and probably still do).

I'm not sure what gets my goat more, the violence or our knee-jerk reaction to it. I feel like instead of dealing with the social ills that are causing the problem, we're dealing only with the result...and we don't understand why it's not getting any better. It's like treating someone who is infected with HIV for only the symptoms they display, and not understanding why they keep developing new symptoms. I'm not saying that social ills are incurable...just that we're getting at them all back-ass-wards.

I know I haven't always done the right thing...but I believe in redemption...I believe that making ammends counts for more than punishment. Just my opinion...for what it's worth.

Nobody's perfect

I'm sick to death of reading about how bad a mother Britney Spears is...there are so many things you could say about her, why do we have to hear about how she almost dropped her child and she got caught driving with her son in her lap...Worse to me is the criticism that she should stay home and tuck her kids into bed and not go out partying. I'm going to say some things here that are probably not going to be very popular, but hey, it's my opinion for what it's worth.

A personal story here...I have three kids who I adore, and I would happily lay my life down for them any day of the week. My oldest, a 15-yr old boy, was born when I was little more than a child myself. When he was two, my mother was helping me move (and for anyone who has kids, you know how hard it is to travel in a car for any length of time with a young child) 12 hours away from my hometown. While we were driving through the mountains, my mother put my son in her lap as she drove, so he could see the view...Ok, that was not such a good idea, and thank god nothing happened to him, but there it is...it happened...once...the difference between me an Britney? There are not cameras following me around and catching my every mistake to make headlines.

My little one (he's 7 seven now, but still Mommy's Little Man) was a few months old when I was sitting in my living room watching TV with him and heard the unmistakable "crash, thud, cry" of his older sister in her bedroom. She was maybe 5, maybe almost 5...and she was playing by herself in her room...I heard her cry and went running up the stairs, Little Man in my arms. Well, I tripped on the way up the stairs and literally dropped my son up the stairs to the landing above. Well, his head hit the wall and my stomach hit the floor...I thought I must be the worst mother on the planet, but at least there were not cameras following me around to let the world know and have the pundits confirm that I was indeed "The Worst Mother on the Planet."

Once, in a fit of impatience and frustration with my oldest (trying to get him to clean his room) (he was 7) I told him I was going to run away from home...well, needless to say (but I'm going to anyway) he broke into tears and begged me not to run away...once again confirming that I was "The Worst Mother on the Planet," but there were not cameras following me around...you get the rest.

Nobody's perfect folks...can we cut her some slack on her parenting...

As for partying...well, I don't know Britney Spears, and I haven't seen nor looked for the pictures of her pantyless on the town...but I have on occassion gone pantyless myself to avoid the ever-unpleasant VPL...visible panty line. I know that women go without panties in this country all over the place...why is this such a big deal...Ok, she shouldn't have had her picture made, but by the same token, those photographers should be ashamed...She said that she hasn't had a chance to go out and party since becoming a mother, and she got a little out of hand. While I'm pretty sure the whole thing was a publicity stunt, it isn't fair of any of us to tell her that she does not have the right to go out sometimes...even if she does have kids. I think one of the primary factors in the salvation of my marriage was weekly dates with my hubby. We go out every Friday night and go dancing...we usually don't get home until midnight or 1am...and I think, no...I whole-heartedly believe that it makes me a better mom.
To say "You should be home tucking your kids into bed instead of out partying on New Year's Eve" is tantamount to saying that a mother shouldn't have a life outside of her kids. The thing is, kids grow up. They move out, start lives and families of their own. Then what? Then how should mom spend her days? Her nights? Her life? Is this when she is entiled to have a life?

I recently saw a commercial for a major Italian restaurant chain that made me think, "I will probably never eat there again." Mom walks into the restaurant, presumable straight from work, and says to the hostess, "I looking for my date. He's very handsome, and his shoes are probably untied." Her date, it turns out, is about 4 or 5 years old and sitting there at table with Dad. At the end the boy says, "I love date night."

I'm sorry folks...that's NOT date night...that's going out to dinner with your family...and while I'm all about sitting down to dinner with the family, I'm not dating my son. The implication to me is plain...Mom is Mom and nothing else...and Mom should be happy with going out on 'date night' to have dinner with her son...going out for Mom consists of doing the same thing she does at home, but at least she doesn't have to cook or clean up after dinner...

Like I said, I love my kids and try to do my best by them, but I'm a person too...I know they need me, but I have needs too...and I don't think the two are mutually exclusive...on the contrary, I believe that taking care of me makes me a better mom, a better wife, and a happier person...

Britney, go out with your friends sometimes...just don't do it to the neglect of your boys...take care of you, but remember that they will see what you do at night when it comes out in the paper and on the internet tomorrow...

Don't fix me

I'm having one of those days when you just don't even want to get out of bed because you know it will just be one of those days. I want to talk to hubby about stuff, but I don't because I know he will try to fix it. His most recent catch phrase is "What can I do to help you?" How about just listen...you can't do this for me...the best thing you can do is nothing. Even my teen son has gotten in on the act now...he's afraid I'm going to Hell because I don't have the same religious beliefs as him. He's paranoid that his mother will burn because she doesn't go to church. He's becoming the Sunday Bible-thumper, who cusses like a sailor and gets into fights through the rest of the week. What's worse is he doesn't seem to believe that there is anything wrong with that...as long as his fights are all about 'protecting people from the bullies.' The language is irrelevant, and what's wrong with calling your sister stupid anyway...

Don't get me wrong, his motives are important...and if he really can't get away from fighting, I'd rather he stood up for himself...but he doesn't seem to see that there are sometimes (usually) alternatives to throwing punches...and he doesn't see the hypocrisy of his bullying his sister...I suppose it's all age-appropriate, but it is frustrating...particularly when he turns his I'm-out-to-save-the-universe attitude on me...don't fix me...don't try to parent me...I have parents, and no one wants to be 'fixed'

I could say the same thing to the hubby...it makes me feel like you see me as a wounded puppy when you try to solve all my problems...sometimes I just want to vent...unless I ask you to help, don't...that doesn't mean don't help with household chores...that means don't try to fix me...I'm not a child...

Politics

As a resident of a southern state I am accustomed to ugly elections focused on religion and slung with mud...this year is no different. I've heard that they've started making guides that are one-page summaries of the condidates views on specific issues. I wish I knew where to get my hands on one of these for my state. Voting by absentee makes the process of trying to find out what the hopefuls stand for...well, it makes it twice as difficult. I've found campaign sites and blogs and news reports, and I still haven't figured out what Lucy Baxley wants to do to improve the education system in Alabama (from what I understand, it's even worse than when I was growing up there, having dropped from 48th to 50th place nationwide). I hear lower taxes and better education, but no plan to implement it. Then I hear the other guy say, increase taxes on upper income and corporations and continue growth at about 4% annually...I'm not sure you can do those two things at the same time...

Then of course, one of the candidates was convicted of a couple of felonies shortly after the primaries...thankfully, he was not selected for his party's nomination (this guy wanted to be governor, all the while being tried for bribery and corruption)...

Then there is the guy who refused to remove the Ten Commandments from the courthouse even after the Supreme Court had ruled...ok, I can respect that he held to his beliefs...but I don't think that religion should play a role in our courts...at least not in the sense that only 'God-fearing' folks can be treated fairly...it reminds me of Gov. Wallace standing on the schoolhouse steps swearing that Alabama schools would never be desegregated...try to remember folks that line in our pledge 'liberty and justice for all'...not just for those who agree with us...not just for one race...not just for one religion...for all...

Voting is important...it is a right, a privelege, an obligation, and a duty to our country...please, someone...grant me something to vote for...tell me where you stand, and convince me that you will stick to that when someone challenges you...show me that you have the nation's best interests at heart...always...show me that you care about civil liberty and security...prove that you care more about our kids' education than lining your pocket or staying in power...

Hurry up and Wait

It's been that kind of week. Seems like all the careful arrangements I have made to make work run smoothly over the last couple months have come to naught. Last minute changes/crises/issues...whatever...have forced me away from careful planning and smooth transition into the unenviable state of 'hurry-up-and-wait'. I'm a little frustrated with work right now, and that is just how it is. No one really wants to help me out, concerned only with their little piece of the project. While I understand that when you only have one piece that is all you focus on, I have to arrange the entire project...make sure it happens and happens in a timely manner...I could liken it to producing a play in which each actor forgets that they are not the only actor involved...well, enough bitching from me...just get the job done and hope there are no more 'issues' that have to be resolved before the curtain goes up.