The time has come...

I know I've been gone for a while...I've been very busy...getting ready...

In a little under 5 months, I'm going...to Iraq...for a year...

Nobody's perfect

I'm sick to death of reading about how bad a mother Britney Spears is...there are so many things you could say about her, why do we have to hear about how she almost dropped her child and she got caught driving with her son in her lap...Worse to me is the criticism that she should stay home and tuck her kids into bed and not go out partying. I'm going to say some things here that are probably not going to be very popular, but hey, it's my opinion for what it's worth.

A personal story here...I have three kids who I adore, and I would happily lay my life down for them any day of the week. My oldest, a 15-yr old boy, was born when I was little more than a child myself. When he was two, my mother was helping me move (and for anyone who has kids, you know how hard it is to travel in a car for any length of time with a young child) 12 hours away from my hometown. While we were driving through the mountains, my mother put my son in her lap as she drove, so he could see the view...Ok, that was not such a good idea, and thank god nothing happened to him, but there it is...it happened...once...the difference between me an Britney? There are not cameras following me around and catching my every mistake to make headlines.

My little one (he's 7 seven now, but still Mommy's Little Man) was a few months old when I was sitting in my living room watching TV with him and heard the unmistakable "crash, thud, cry" of his older sister in her bedroom. She was maybe 5, maybe almost 5...and she was playing by herself in her room...I heard her cry and went running up the stairs, Little Man in my arms. Well, I tripped on the way up the stairs and literally dropped my son up the stairs to the landing above. Well, his head hit the wall and my stomach hit the floor...I thought I must be the worst mother on the planet, but at least there were not cameras following me around to let the world know and have the pundits confirm that I was indeed "The Worst Mother on the Planet."

Once, in a fit of impatience and frustration with my oldest (trying to get him to clean his room) (he was 7) I told him I was going to run away from home...well, needless to say (but I'm going to anyway) he broke into tears and begged me not to run away...once again confirming that I was "The Worst Mother on the Planet," but there were not cameras following me around...you get the rest.

Nobody's perfect folks...can we cut her some slack on her parenting...

As for partying...well, I don't know Britney Spears, and I haven't seen nor looked for the pictures of her pantyless on the town...but I have on occassion gone pantyless myself to avoid the ever-unpleasant VPL...visible panty line. I know that women go without panties in this country all over the place...why is this such a big deal...Ok, she shouldn't have had her picture made, but by the same token, those photographers should be ashamed...She said that she hasn't had a chance to go out and party since becoming a mother, and she got a little out of hand. While I'm pretty sure the whole thing was a publicity stunt, it isn't fair of any of us to tell her that she does not have the right to go out sometimes...even if she does have kids. I think one of the primary factors in the salvation of my marriage was weekly dates with my hubby. We go out every Friday night and go dancing...we usually don't get home until midnight or 1am...and I think, no...I whole-heartedly believe that it makes me a better mom.
To say "You should be home tucking your kids into bed instead of out partying on New Year's Eve" is tantamount to saying that a mother shouldn't have a life outside of her kids. The thing is, kids grow up. They move out, start lives and families of their own. Then what? Then how should mom spend her days? Her nights? Her life? Is this when she is entiled to have a life?

I recently saw a commercial for a major Italian restaurant chain that made me think, "I will probably never eat there again." Mom walks into the restaurant, presumable straight from work, and says to the hostess, "I looking for my date. He's very handsome, and his shoes are probably untied." Her date, it turns out, is about 4 or 5 years old and sitting there at table with Dad. At the end the boy says, "I love date night."

I'm sorry folks...that's NOT date night...that's going out to dinner with your family...and while I'm all about sitting down to dinner with the family, I'm not dating my son. The implication to me is plain...Mom is Mom and nothing else...and Mom should be happy with going out on 'date night' to have dinner with her son...going out for Mom consists of doing the same thing she does at home, but at least she doesn't have to cook or clean up after dinner...

Like I said, I love my kids and try to do my best by them, but I'm a person too...I know they need me, but I have needs too...and I don't think the two are mutually exclusive...on the contrary, I believe that taking care of me makes me a better mom, a better wife, and a happier person...

Britney, go out with your friends sometimes...just don't do it to the neglect of your boys...take care of you, but remember that they will see what you do at night when it comes out in the paper and on the internet tomorrow...

I resolve...

Ok, so I'm a little late, but that isn't part of my New Year's Resolutions (though it easily could be)...

2006 was kind of a rough year for our little family. Military life had worn us down over 2005, so in 2006 we were paying the price...shouting matches, silent treatments, months of marital therapy...all on the path to renewed wedded bliss, as they say. Work had it's share of challenges, and hubby started back to college which added the requisite educational pressures and stress...

So in an effort to start off 2007 on a good foot and undo some of the damage that was done in 2006, I carefully thought out several resolutions for 2007...I hope writing them down here will keep me on the right track...

So without further ado...in 2007, I resolve...

1) To lose the 25 lbs I put on in 2006...with my focus on fixing my marriage and my personal mental well-being, I lost track of my personal physical well-being...that stops here.
This seems a reasonable goal with weight loss targets of about 2 lbs a month...probably a little more in the first month than in the last (the first being mostly water weight and the last being December/Christmas) and somewhat average somewhere in the middle.

2) To work out at least 3 days a week...this is related to 1) but I also have to keep in mind a physical fitness test that I have to pass to keep my job... Also I have started taking walks in the evening with the hubby...I'd like to keep that up...and get to at least half of the recommended daily steps...the government set a goal of 10,000 daily steps...I'm at about 2,000 now...would like to get to 5,000.

3) To drink at least 4 non-caffeinated drinks (not alcohol) per day...I was living on Diet Mountain Dew and coffee...and I wondered why I would have trouble gettting to sleep and staying asleep all night...

4) To eat dinner at the family table at least 5 nights a week...Ok truth be told we're already doing this, but I want it to be a goal to continue to do so...prior to May of 2006, we were lucky if we did this once a week, and I don't want to go back there.

5) To play and read and talk and laugh with my kids...we have family game night on Monday nights, and we rotate each week who gets to choose what we play...the kids love it and so do the parents...I want more of that...we didn't have family game night over the holidays because we were out of town, and I believe our family felt the impact...I haven't read to one of my kids in almost a year...I want to change that...but then the youngest is 7 and now he reads to me...maybe we'll just read different books together...I don't know but the goal is more about family and together than it is the actual activity.

6) To limit myself to wine on weekends only and sweets only once or twice a week...I'll have a little of something when I want a sweet and avoid the deprivation/binge loop...

I guess that about covers it...even looking at it now it looks like a lot...but I think they will all feed into one another when I get each one started...maybe I'll provide updates...I know I'll be looking back at this frequently to remind myself where I want to be this time next year.

Happy New Year

I'm back...we've been vacationing for a couple weeks now, and I am finally back in my routine. We drove to Colorado Springs for Christmas this year (I guess it's now last year). Yes, we drove from the deep South up to the freezing desert snow. We had a grand time with my sister and her girls and were quite reluctant to return to our daily lives.

It was a great visit despite my BIL being in Iraq and my sister having a broken foot. The girls seemed happy, but I know they missed their Dad. It got a little tense there when we found out he'd been moved from Baghdad to Tikrit, Saddam's hometown...and just in time for Saddam to be hanged too. I wish I could do something for the girls...I'm feeling a little helpless. I want to tell them not to worry, that everything will be fine and Daddy will be home sooner than you know...but I don't want to minimize their feelings, or their very real and fair worries...so I just hugged them both and told them I would be there for them if they ever needed anything...my sister misses her husband terribly, and even though I was over there last year, I can only imagine how she is feeling. I was over there and always knew I was ok...but my family had to sit at home and wait for the weekly phone calls and almost daily emails. I think deployments are almost always harder on the family than they are on the service member...not to dimish how hard it was and is for others, but at least you know how you're doing while you're over there...your family just waits...and waits...and waits...

But it was not a gloomy Christmas...no 'Bah Humbugs' were heard...and the children (mine included) were piled over with presents. His unit sent presents for the girls, Bratz dolls and gift certificates to Toys R Us...hit the nail on the head with that one, the girls loved them. I'm glad that the unit was thinking of them at Christmas time. When I was away, that was definitely the hardest, most isolating period.

Did I mention we drove to CO for the holidays? The snow was out of this world. I haven't seen snow like that since I was 8. We threw snowballs, made snow angels, and attempted a snowman...well, I attempted a snowman, but that was harder than I remembered it being...particularly when you're trying to build it alone...oh well, it was fun.

The snow didn't make for great driving conditions (we arrived the day after the first big storm and left 2 days after the second), but I am happy to report that we were not involved in any traffic incidents. (though we did witness several) I am now recovering from 2 days, totalling 27 hours, in the car, and I think I might start visiting the chiropractor, but I am definitely renewed and refreshed for the new year.